When I was in high school some friends of mine used to have little inside joke where we’d say “It’s ONLY a dollar!” To be honest, I can’t even remember how it got started or why it was even funny at the time, but it was the first thing that came to mind when I discovered Fiverr. As far as internet niches goes, Fiverr is striking gold by connecting cheapos like me with people who’ve grossly underestimated the actual worth of their services.

So to test the site, I decided to submit some photos to 4 different artists who all promised me to change my awesomely normal look into their own personal styles. It’s only five dollars, I couldn’t NOT do it.

“You look like a monkey”

In all honesty, I have no idea what a “Julian Opie” style is, I just thought it looked cool enough to start my Fiverr experiment. To date this was the best in terms of responsiveness and quickness of delivery. The artist was extremely quick with feedback and the final artwork, even going so far as making a last-minute change. They definitely set the bar for what I expected from others.

So while the service was great, the final result was a bit underwhelming. I suspect this is less to do with the artist’s ability as it is in me giving them a bland photo to work with. My feelings towards the end results were mixed at best. My girlfriend went so far as to tell me, “You look like a monkey,” and then threatening to post the image on her Weibo account.

For that, I’d like to thank the artists. You’ve given my girlfriend more ammo in her relentless crusade to convince me that all caucasians look like monkeys. I’d pay you in bananas if I could.

Final Grade: C+

Artist: Relaxabe

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Hey, is that Tobias?

My second attempt ended up with a better end result, but was much more of a shocker in terms of delivery time. My “extensive” experience on Fiverr told me these artists work fast, so imagine my shock when I didn’t get my portrait within 24 hours. Screaming ensued…objects were thrown across the room…litigation written up…

Ok, I’m kidding. Basically what happened was that I had to reset my expectations for what I was going to get for $5usd. The old saying about “cheap, fast, and good” still holds on Fiverr. So while everything on the site is cheap, you still have the “fast and good” variables to deal with. After a few days of waiting, the results finally came in. It was then I realized my few days of “not fast” were offset by an increase in overall satisfaction with the final product.

That said, I’m still not completely happy. The artist had more time, but seems to have turned me into a generic cartoon version of David Cross, instead of trying to find one distinguishing feature to focus on.

It’s decent work, just lacks punch.

Final Grade: B

Artist: Draculafetus

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Me in a Japanese RPG supporting role

And by punch I must mean anime! How could I resist making myself look like a supporting player in Akira? This is a slam dunk, I had to have this one. My only concern was whether or not I still had enough hair on the top of my head to justify any super-power spikiness. From the results, I’d say…umm…I don’t. But I must give credit to the artist, no one did better than him on nailing the look of my receding hairline. Kudos…you almost made it look cool to have a gigantic forehead.

Seriously though, this is my favorite of all the entries. Even with the anime-overlay, I don’t have to spend 5 minutes convincing myself that it’s me. I do have to convince myself that I’m not actually a cyborg with shotguns for arms, but I’m willing to live with that.

Side Note: I’m currently searching Fiverr for someone to convert my arms into shotguns.

Final Grade: A

Artist: Joshuab

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The Rat Pack member?

Although most of these orders were initiated at the same time, this one took the longest to deliver. The end result seems to be a little more Ol’ Blue Eyes than Jeremy, don’t you think? I suppose it’s my fault in asking for a Frank Sinatra vibe in the picture. The artist obviously delivered. Sadly though, what makes me who I am seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle. Maybe the lesson here is that you shouldn’t give people too many of your own ideas. Let them just do their work as they see fit.

Artists are usually good at feeling what you mean, instead of what you say. In this respect I have to give the artist credit for correcting my mistake in asking for “a Frank Sinatra ‘Brat Pack’ type of vibe,” instead of the more accurate “Rat Pack”. Luckily, they seemed to have known what I meant instead of what I said. Had they not, I could have ended up looking less like like Frankie and more like Judd Nelson.

Final Grade: B-

Artist: friendswith4leg

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